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Do you know I am sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Tired of sit around and think about the »We«, we both lost. Sick about the ''ridiculous, false'' fool you've made out of me for trying to be there, when you needed me. I know I made mistakes by myself. But I won't take all the blame.
Do you know I feel betrayed?
Betrayed for being a friend for you, dumped out of a childish mood, grown out of pride, missunderstandings and mean manipulations by strangers, who doesn't know neither me nor my feelings for you.
Do you know I'm heart-broken?
Broken and jaded like the castle we build out of imagination and what crumbled on its wooden pillars to dust and memory. We build and lost a world together.
Do you know I loved you?
Not in a lovers way, but I did. I was holding on while you was letting go of that what we called our »We«. You kicked me out, found ''someone better to help you'' because I ''don't even try to reflect your feelings''. At least I tried, didn't I? Now you put effort in killing the rest of love in me…
Do you know I don't deserve that?
You accused me to make the scapegoat out of you, but I didn't. Never. I came to your defense whenever it was needed. Not my words made you the fall guy but your behavior to people who just wanted to be friends to you. None of us is capable to understand what's on your mind right now.
Do you know there is still a spark of hope in me?
Maybe one day you'll wake up and realize what we had and what you've thrown away so easily, out of pride and blindness. I'm tired of fighting now, I can't hold on someone who doesn't want me to be in his life. You wanted me to go and leave. So I will. I try to live this ''good life'', you sarcasticly wished for me. What else should I do?
I thought we were stronger, but some wise man said »Your best friend can become your worst enemy.« Pity, he was right…
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