Part 9

Emily had finally managed to put on some clean underwear, the comfy one, that she would never want any guy to see, her favorite grey sweatpants with the hole right over the left butt cheek and a dark blue Sweater. When she was taking it out of her bag, since she still hadn’t hung up any clothes, she came across Jonathan’s old PJ which he had given to her as a gift. She loved this shirt. It had a hole under each armpit, the color had faded from black into a light grey and you could hardly make out the cartoon characters which must have been green and orange at some point. She didn’t even know why she had packed it. She had started sobbing like a little baby. Each sob was more difficult to recover from, it felt like someone was ripping out her heart and lungs at the same time. It took her a good hour until she had calmed down again. Luckily Olivia was always late. When the doorbell rang she had restored her look to half decent. She had put her hair up and put on some foundation. Her eyes were still puffy from the crying and her throat still hurting from the ordeal she had put herself through in the morning but it definitely was ok for her best friend. Olivia immediately hugged her hard as she entered the door, almost knocking her over. “Oh sweetie, you look terrible…” which was in no way meant the mean way it sounded. Emily knew that and forced a smile. They went to the bed, Emily sat down, crossed her legs and grabbed one of the pillows to put on her lap. Olivia grabbed the other one and sat across from her.
“So tell me exactly what happened sweetie”. Emily was so grateful to have her there. Staring at her with her big brown eyes, looking like everything would be ok again.
“Well…the thing is… Emily swallowed hard “I don’t really know what happened. All I know is that I woke up this morning, and I wasn’t alone and I didn’t even really see the guy, cause he left so quickly and I was still delusional” There she had said it. She felt guilty and relieved at the same time. “Ok, so that sucks, kinda. But its not the end of the world, right? I mean, I am sure you weren’t intending on doing it and you will not do it again. Besides you and Jonathan are broken up, so I think it’s quite normal to do something like that, only to appreciate what you had even more”. Emily hadn’t looked at it from that point of view She had been so wrapped up in her guilt and worry that she hadn’t even though about the fact that this might have meant nothing after all. That this didn’t mean that she didn’t love Jonathan anymore or that she was a bad person, but simply, that she was a normal person, that had done something stupid. That this could be something she could overlook and learn from and make up to Jonathan in a way that he would never even have to know. “ Look sweetie, the way I see this is, you made a mistake, you know that it wasn’t cool, but you are still looking to work things out with Jonathan, right?” “Of course I do, god, I love him.. I don’t know how I could have been so stupid”. She felt tears rising in her eyes again and tried to fight them with all she had. “Yeah ok, but he doesn’t have to know. I mean, it meant nothing, you don’t know who the guy was, neither does anyone else, and I don’t think anybody saw you leaving with anyone. So don’t worry” “But do you think it’s that bartender guy? Should I go talk to him and ask?” “NO, definitely not, look the only thing you can do now is let it go and see that Jon wont find out. If you want I can check with Marc, if any of the guys saw you with anyone. I won’t tell him of course.” “Yeah I guess. but you didn’t see me leave with anyone, did you? So that means Jonathan didn’t either, right?” “No, you don’t need to worry, nobody saw you do anything stupid!”. “Damn it.. you are right.. and I cant rely on you for this of blame anyone but me…and you really think that I can keep this a secret?” “Yes I do, really! But I ll check with everyone I know, and everybody that was with us last night, and I am sure they were too wrapped up in their own stuff and didn’t even notice you” Emily felt a bit calmer. She knew that if Olivia was getting involved in this everything would be ok – at least somehow. She always knew what to say and how to comfort her and you felt safer around her immediately. “So I bet you haven’t had breakfast yet, have you? “No not yet, I ve been eating my breakfast backwards this morning, remember?” “Ewww, yeah I do – so let’s get you out of the house for half an hour, get something to eat and then come back here to watch some really bad chick flick."

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