I always imagine how shocking it would be
If I saw you right now.
If I saw your face
Staring at mine
Realizing the loss
If I saw your muscles on your face ­– your jaw

You would not give any other reaction
You said you are over me
And that’s why you would take this loss
as if it was an inescapable bullet
that’s been shot through your guts
you’d accept it the way it is.

And then there is me.
I would not be scared
to show you how I feel
With my face I would signalize you
That deep down I am screaming
Begging you to come back
Begging you for a touch
A single touch

You would not give in
You have been suffering for too long
You’d tell yourself
You don’t need me, I am no good for you
You’d tell yourself
That I don’t need you
That you are no good for me either
Yeah, I have heard it all before

I would not cry
I would just look at you
I would remain in the same position
And just look
I would let my eyes wander over every inch of your face
I don’t want to forget it
My hands would long for your hands
My lips would long for your lips
But my brain, thank god,
Would make me turn around
My heart would scream and scream
This pain would tear me apart
But my brain would remind me
Of all the pain you have given me

And for once

I would not follow my heart.

-the releasing pain





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