There's not a day I don't think of you.
Not a week wondering if you are fine
and if people are good and care for you.
Right now I am stressed and my mind
is conquered by worries.
Worries about everything.
But these aren't your business anymore.
I feel sad, tired and lost
like if I still don't know my way and place in life.
It feels like an endless searching.
A search while feeling incomplete.
What once was found is forgotten again
and burried by doubt and fear.
I wonder who'll stand by my side in the end.
Cause you are gone.
If it will be the same faces I care for now
or if they will be different ones.
Faces I haven't met yet.
I miss you. I really do.
You are my sister after all
and I never stopped caring or loving you.
You deceided to leave and walked away,
right out of my life.
You left behind a little girl back then,
that was going to be an adult soon,
that girl was me.
I try to focus on what's important in life
and move on, day by day.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
I'm still me after all.
Surely I might have changed on the inside too.
Mostly though on the outside.
I have grown and made experience.
Found and lost friends again.
But there has never been one like you.
Noone can ever replace you.
Today I miss you more than any other day.
Cause today always had been special to us.
Though today long became yesterday.
It is two days ago in fact.
My dear friend, my dear sister,
I hope that one day fate will give us a chance to meet again.
As long as you wish so too.
Till then I wish you a Happy Birthday.
From now and for always,
each year on the same day.
I just can't let go of the past...
Oktober 2013