i hate that so many poems are about you
i hate that i waste my time writing about you
confessing it all with 26 letters
i hate the fact that you will never read those words of mine
that you will never read the sorrow and pain between the lines
that you will never read the disgust and hate between the lines
and i hate myself for hating you for being happy with her
when i am here all by myself
all the negativity is inside me and i want to puke and spit it out
and leave it on the floor forever but it decided to stay for longer and i put
fingers in my throat and tried to enforce it to come out and let me live
but it is a bastard
a stubborn bastard
alive to kill me
or rather to kill the feelings ive left for other people
i should stay strong in these times
especially in these times
but the thought of you keeps me awake at night
and keeps me fantasizing about what we could have been but are not
you keep me laying in my bed with eyes half open
not dreaming at all
and if i do i do not dream about you
but you are the thought that makes me want to get back into my bed
i am indeed thankful for whatever power is up there that it did not let me
dream about you
otherwise I would have become crazier from time to time
and yet
i fell in love unintentionally
i didnt plan it
i didnt want it
it just happened
it was no mistake
you make me feel some kind of way
that i cannot explain
im comfortable around you
you are good for me
the way you are
and still
i love you
i am so sorry
for what will be
for all the sadness i will
put us through
i am drained
for our love is wrong in so many ways
it doesnt feel like it
and it shouldnt be wrong
and yet
it still is
do you understand that
i just want to be happy
and i just want you
to be happy
but both wont work
I didnt want to have to choose
i didnt want that
i just wanted to follow
my heart
to see where it will take me
i didnt want to have to
choose
this will be the saddest
i have ever gone through
i love you so much
it hurts