Chapter Ten

It was the night Arline became Hitler, at least according to her mom. Her mom would equate her accidentally stumbling on Nazi websites as a sign of worshiping Nazis. However in truth, even from the beginning there was a fundamental difference between Arline and Adolf.

For one thing, Hitler wanted to kill millions of Jews. Arline wanted to destroy the entirety of mankind. She thought about how nature could more benefit from the absence of humanity. And how without all of man's penchant toward its own self-destruction, one could restore the ozone layer. Goodnight little Hitler, said her mother. As her child faded to dust. For it will be another day that mankind continues to exist in its splendor heading toward its ultimate demise. She hated humanity, because it created Hitler. She hated humanity, because it created Stalin. She had humanity, because it created the United States that was simply no different. She hated France, because they invented the guillotine and almost beheaded Anna-Marie Boeglin. She hated everything that humans have created, and Neanderthals would still be in existence if it were not for the lowliness that was homo sapience.

And yet she was direction less and void. Her life was a dangerous turn of the cards, a sinister ploy by ancient gods hellbent toward her own eventual suicide at the drop of cups of bathroom cleaner. And as she rested dying on the floor of a dirty old motel room in Washington, she thought of the emptiness of humanity. At the time, she wanted nothing to exist.

She wanted to end herself.

And yet things didn't turn out this way. And at the end of the day, she found humans were not worth her hate. So she cut herself off from humanity after her twenty seventh birthday. Now she has a new understanding of the value of life, and how if the United States as it existed simply changed forms, and became more like the greatness that was once 19th century Europe, just with more Africans, Muslims, and Jews perhaps the world could be a happier place without Germans, Russians, and their co conspirators the French. She was cured.

She remembered her poodle, now.

Who was hit with a baseball bat.

Life is so fragile.

Here is what Arline knows about smoking: you'll find in her area a lot of homeless people end up preferring cigarillos. She did a little experiment in figuring out the price of tobacco.

What she found was that for a standard box of pre-rolls, you're paying for the right to have something rolled previously. Roll your own isn't significantly cheaper. However when you convert six bags of three-pack cigarillos to roll your own, that's a dollar per bag or six dollars, you end up having cigarettes for six dollars rather than $7.00 in a standard bag of roll your own.

Homeless smoke cigarillos because it's cheaper than purchasing cigarettes.

Applying this same principle to other things you can make yourself rather than purchase ready-made, I found out that snipping off the non-sticky parts of post it notes, and using the sticky parts to secure a memo book ends up being just as secure as using a substitution lock.

This is why: while an attacker might not be able to open the lock, they can however rip out the lock in a standard composition notebook. But with post its, it's a generally weak security mechanism that doesn't really pretend to be secure, and so an attacker doesn't really need to crack it, they just peel off the tape.

Why is this important? You're paying for the right to attach a lock yourself that could be do far more cheaply with post it notes.

It all comes down to price.

This is why Arline purchased a bag of hickory chips to sketch my drawings, rather than use mechanical pencils. You can get the bag for a far cheaper price because there just isn't a demand on them. Even charcoal is cheaper.

Just burn the tip, and you have drawing utensils for the next few months.


Fairy Dust



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