Good news?

I spend the day and the one after that as if I had been wrapped in a thick soft blanket. I was numb and scared and afraid to move. I felt like anything I might say or do might make Sasha angry and cause him to leave me for good. I wanted to be happy that he was finally himself again and that we had been super attentive after our talk but I just felt anxious. I wasn’t sure what exactly it had been that had made him so upset but I didn’t want to ask him again and start our fight all over. I decided to lay low and just try to make him feel worthy again. Still there was one thing that was bothering me - Natalia. She was gorgeous, she was Russian and she apparently knew what she wanted in life and he had also told me she believed in him. Which I found odd given I hadn’t heard about her before that night. I was thinking about a way to bring her up at dinner that night when he started talking about her himself. „So Natalia asked if you wanted to come along next weekend to go out for her boyfriends birthday.“ I couldn’t help but feel relieved. She had a boyfriend, at least there was some sort of obstacle there between her and Sasha. „Sure, why not. Where is she planning on going?“ „I am guessing something fancy, but don’t worry, we’ll get you something nice to wear.“ He kissed me on the cheek and got up from the table.

As if to make up for the latest mishap, we spent the next week in a pink haze. It seemed like everything Sasha said or did was to prove to me, that he in fact loved me more than ever and the fight started to fade quickly. We went out to dinner almost every night, most of the time alone but some nights with some of Sasha’s friends and he never took his hands off me for even a second. I was blissful and happier than I had been in a while. My struggles with my university and Lena and even my mom were buried deep inside of me somewhere and I genuinely felt like I was exactly where I needed to be.

Natalia’s party was Saturday night, so when Sasha told me he was going to have beer with Dima on Friday I told him I was going to wait for him at home. Even though I enjoyed every second I spend with him I was looking forward to a night by myself on the couch in my PJ’s. Sasha kissed me goodbye and told me to „be good“, and I curled up on the sofa with my laptop just checking my mails when my little blue Skype icon started jumping at the bottom of the screen. I clicked on it and saw my mom’s picture appear. „Honey are you there?“ I hesitated. I had finally stopped thinking about her and the last conversation we had and I was in such a good mood, I wasn’t sure I wanted my evening ruined by more of her complaining and lack of understanding. But still she was my mom and I hadn’t spoken to her in so long. My finger hovered over the mouse contemplating on whether to type something or just close the window and shut down the computer. Finally I clicked on the text box. „Yeah, I am here.“ She didn’t reply for another minute and I knew that she was going to call. A couple of seconds later I saw her face pop up again and my computer started ringing. „Hey mom.“ „Hey sweetie.“ She smiled and I could hear her swallowing some tears. „It’s good to see you. We have missed you.“ My dad appeared behind her for a second and waved shyly. He didn’t like to Skype, it creeped him out, he preferred regular phone calls, and even through those he never really lasted very long. I could see him uncomfortably playing with the power cord of the laptop. „It’s ok dad, you can go, maybe I should talk to mom alone first.“ „Ok honey, I love you.“ He left so fast my mother didn’t even have time to protest. „So how have you been?“ „Fine I guess, studying, hanging out, you know, nothing special really. How about you guys?“ „Well we have been good. We actually have a surprise for you.“ I felt my heart leap. What could they surprise me with after we hadn’t spoken for such a ling time. „Hum, ok.“ I smiled nervously. „We hope you are still going to be happy about it, but we thought after all these fights we had and after we haven’t seen each other in so long, that it would be good if we could do more than Skype. So we bought a ticket to come visit you in Germany in 3 weeks. What do you think?“ I didn’t know what I thought, I needed some time to think but I could see my mom beaming into the camera obviously waiting for me to start shrieking in joy. Which somehow I managed to do. „That’s so awesome mom, that is a great surprise. I have missed you so much.“ Much to my surprise tears filled my eyes and I realized that I actually meant what I had said. It would be great to see my parents again. They would finally get to meet Sasha and they would understand why I was with him. I would get to show them my new apartment and the city and I would be able to spend some time at their hotel. My mom would probably spoil me and pamper me and it would feel like a little piece of home would come back here. All of a sudden I couldn’t wait. „I am so excited. Where are you staying? With us? At a hotel?“ „We will probably stay with your aunt or at a hotel. We don’t want to be a burden to you.“ „But you are not.“ „You don’t live there by yourself, so it would definitely be different. Don’t you worry, we will stay somewhere else.“ „But mom, I am sure Sasha won’t mind.“ „I know sweetie, I am sure he won’t either, but we would rather just meet him first without the added pressure of staying in the same apartment.“ I felt a little stab in my stomach. She thought that they might not like him and that it would be weird staying with us. Suddenly I didn’t want to talk to her anymore. „Well that is great news mom, listen, I have to go now, but we will talk soon and you will fill me in on the details?“ My mom didn’t seem to have noticed my abrupt reaction, she seemed to just be happy that I wanted them here. „Sure, we will do that. We love you and can’t wait to see you.“ „Yeah, love you too.“ I slammed by computer shut without ending the call. I felt betrayed and at the same time I felt like they hit a nerve. What if they didn’t like each other. They hadn’t been off to a good start without even knowing each other but still I always thought that if they’d meet they would warm up to each other. But all of a sudden I wasn’t so sure about that anymore.

Sasha came home around midnight. I had spend the rest of the evening trying to take my thoughts of my mom’s words by watching some new shows and looking at old pictures on my laptop. When he came into the door I practically jumped on him. „Hey baby, I missed you too.“ „Guess what, my parents are coming here.“ He looked a little confused by my outburst but it only took him a second to break into a big grin „That is wonderful news. I am so happy that I will finally get to meet them. When are they coming? Are they staying with us?“ „In 3 weeks, and no, they are staying with my aunt probably.“ „But why? We have plenty of room, they should stay with us.“ „That’s what I told them but they didn’t want to impose.“ His smile died. „Are you sure that is what it is? Or do they still not approve of me?“ My stomach clenched. „No of course not baby, they wouldn’t come here if they didn’t, right? They want to meet you. I think they are just used to bigger housing, if you know what I mean.“ I tried to smile. I was relieved when he returned my smile. „Ok then, maybe we can still change their mind.“


Fairy Dust



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