Life of the party

I took a lot of time to get ready on Saturday, so much time that Sasha called repeatedly while I was in the bathroom asking me what I was still doing in there. I was quite happy with the outcome. I had applied more make up than usual and put on a dress that Sasha’s mom had sent me which probably cost more than my entire wardrobe. My hair was falling down my shoulders in soft curls and I had my favorite high heels on. Sasha’s smile told me that I had made the right choice. „You look beautiful baby.“ I gave him a kiss in return. „You don’t look too bad yourself, Mr.“ „Are you ready?“ I took a deep breath and exhaled loudly. „As ready as I will ever be.“

The music was pumping loudly when we arrived at the club. The bouncer let us in without even so much a shrug and we went straight to Natalia’s table in the corner. When I saw her, my heart started beating faster. She was even more beautiful than I remembered. She was wearing a dress so pale that it looked like she was naked, only when we got closer I noticed it was covered in tiny gold fibers. It covered her chest but when she turned around I saw that it was cut so low it almost showed her perfectly shaped ass. Her hair war pulled back into a ponytail and her lips were full and dark red. Despite the heavy made up face she looked angelic. „um Happy Birthday“ I pressed, my voice hoarse and dry. „Thank you, I am glad you could make it.“ She seemed genuinely happy to see me and greeted Sasha in Russian. „This is my boyfriend Max and my good friend Inge.“ Max was German, a rich kid with slick hair and a dinner jacket on, his bare feet in loafers. Inge was the exact opposite of Natalia. She was Swedish, as I learned later, blonde long hair, a deep tan and freckles all over her face. She was wearing hardly any make up but her dress was so short and revealing she looked like she worked as a dancer at the club. Inge was very friendly though and I couldn’t help but notice that Sasha’s gaze lingered on her a little longer than on anyone else Natalia introduced us to.
The table held several coolers with icy bottles, vodka I assumed and some bottles of the pink champagne that I liked so much. About 5 bottles had already been turned over to show the waitress that they were empty. The party had only started half an hour before we arrived so it seemed like we had some catching up to do. Like on cue Sasha handed me a shot of Vodka and a chaser of champagne. „To us.“ he whispered in my ear. „To Natalia.“ , he said out loud.

I felt a comfortable buzz after 2 more glasses of champagne and only obsessed about my inferiority when I really looked at the other girls we were with. At some point Natalia decided she wanted to dance so all the other women got up and followed her to the dance floor. The guys stayed behind. I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t feel like dancing with the goddess like creatures but I also didn’t want to impose on the boys so I sat on the edge of my seat and watched. Much to my delight Natalia couldn’t dance at all. Her legs moved and so did her arms but her hips seemed to stay weirdly in place so that she looked like a kid that had grown too much to fast and wasn’t sure what to do with all this extra height. Unfortunately Inge did know how to dance. Her moves were smooth and sexy and she seemed to lock eyes with every guy on the dance floor. Sasha tapped on my shoulder. „Why don’t you go dance a little?“ „I am not sure I want to.“ „Ah come on it’ll be fun.“ He pulled me off the sofa in one swift move and lead me to the dance floor. I could dance with Sasha, that would be fun. I saw him swivel as he walked, he must have had a lot more to drink than me. At the dance floor he kissed me hard on the mouth. „Have fun babe,“ and turned around to sit with Max. I was dumfounded. I was angry at Sasha for making me give up my safe spot like that but I couldn’t go back now, could I? I didn’t have time to think as Inge quickly put her arm around my waist and pulled me over to their little group. 3 songs later I still didn’t feel comfortable so I went to the bathroom. I refreshed my make up and tucked on my dress and ran my fingers through my already disappearing locks. When I went back out to the dance floor I saw Max dancing with Natalia. His hands on her hips making her moves somewhat smoother. Sasha was still in the same spot, but when I saw him my heart dropped and my chest closed almost instantly. Inge was on his lap, his left arm around her waist, is right hand on her thigh. She was laughing at something he said and he was stroking her leg with one finger. What were they thinking? I was right there. I wanted to go over to them but my legs were to shaky to move so I stood there and watched with horror as he leaned forward to kiss her. Finally I snapped out of my coma and practically ran to their side, yelling and crying. I didn’t care what the others thought of me. Sasha also seemed to snap out of something as he saw me pulling Inge off his lap. „What the fuck do you think you are doing?“ „Baby, I..Come on, it’s nothing. I wasn’t gonna do anything.“ I didn’t want to hear his excuses, I didn’t want to see his face or smell his drunkenness from every pore. „Fuck you.“ I wanted to through my drink at his face but I had left it in the bathroom so I just grabbed my purse and ran from the club, now knowing what to do next. All I could think of was that I had left Sasha with a beautiful blonde so willing to help him cheat on his girlfriend and what would happen if he did exactly that. I was angry and mad but moreover I was scared as hell that he would go through with it and that I would have to leave him or worse, that he would leave me. I wasn’t sure why I felt this way, while I rationally knew that all I should be feeling should be anger but I couldn’t help it. When I reached the street I realized that I had left my jacket but there was no way I was going back in there. Freezing I waved for a Taxi. When I got in the driver asked me „Where to?“ That was a question I had no answer to. I couldn’t go back home, Sasha would come there at some point, or maybe he wouldn’t. I couldn’t decide which would be worse. I couldn’t call Lena, she didn’t talk to me anymore. And I also couldn’t call Anna or Meg or my aunt because there was no way in hell that I would let them know what happened here tonight. „Young lady, could you tell me where to take you?“ „Hum, just give me a minute please.“ I unzipped my purse not really sure what I was looking for and realized that my keys were in my jacket. „Fuck.“ „What? Do we have a destination now?“ „Let me just make a quick phone call, I will pay for your waiting time.“ „In that case, take all the time you want.“ I got out of the cab, maybe the fresh air would help me think. I went through my phone book and the only person that I didn’t cringe when thinking about calling them and telling them what happened was Matt. My fingers trembled as I tapped on his name. He picked up after the 3rd ring and it was clear that he wasn’t home. My heart sank. „Hey Matt, it’s Emma. Where are you guys?“ „Oh at some club, but on our way home, what are you up to?“ I gave him a quick version of what had just happened and he immediately offered that I could stay with him and his girlfriend for the night. I had to hand it to them, they were very cool about everything. They just let me talk and tell them my story and they didn’t judge or bash Sasha in any way. They just told me to get a good nights sleep and maybe things would look different in the morning. I wasn’t sure if I was imagining it, but afterwards they looked at each other as if to say „We are lucky our relationship is nothing like that.“ But I was so grateful to them that I just slipped on one of Alice’s PJs and climbed into their guest bed and passed out almost immediately.

When I woke up I smelled freshly brewed coffee and bacon. I checked my reflection and I didn’t look too horrible. For some reason I didn’t cry at all last night but as the memory of it hit me I felt a tear rolling down my cheek. I quickly wiped it away and stepped out of my room. „How are you feeling today?“ Alice was already dressed and cooking breakfast. Matt was still in his PJ’s reading the paper. „I am ok, I guess. Thanks for letting me crash here.“ I smiled sheepishly. „No worries about that. Listen we have been talking. Do you think that Sasha is the right guy for you?“ Not that again. I immediately felt my fists tightening. Despite what has happened I replied through gritted teeth. „Yes, why wouldn’t he be?“ „Emma, look, we don’t know you that well. But I have been in class with Sasha for a while. He has been parading girls in front of us forever and one looked more miserable than the other. I just think he is not a very good person, that’s all. And from what you told us last night, it seems like I am right.“ I could feel my face redden. „Look Matt, yes maybe he does some fucked up stuff sometimes, but he usually has a reason, and it’s not like I am always innocent.“ „Ok, so what did you do yesterday to deserve what he did?“ „Maybe I overreacted, maybe he didn’t kiss her.“ The second I said it out loud I knew I was lying but I couldn’t take it back now. „Do you really believe that?“ This time it was Alice asking. „Maybe. I had a lot to drink. And now will you excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.“ I felt like a kid that had been reprimanded by her parents. On the way to the bathroom I picked up my bag that I had left in the hallway. I closed the bathroom door behind me and said on the floor. I fumbled my phone out of my bag expecting a couple of calls and messages of apology from Sasha. There was none. I stared at my phone as if I could make it ring. I couldn’t believe it. How could he not have tried to make things right with me. Maybe he had followed me and seen that the Taxi had not taken me home so he thought I had been with another guy. Another excuse that even I didn’t believe. I felt so small that I just wanted to disappear. I didn’t want to face Alice and Matt again and explain to them that my boyfriend didn’t even have the decency to apologize for his shitty behavior, nor could I, since I had just told them that all this might have been a figment of my imagination. I splashed my face with water and pulled my hair up using one of Alice’s hair ties. I put on my best fake smile and stepped out of the bathroom. „Listen guys, Sasha called a bunch of times, explaining what happened. So I am just gonna go home and talk to him, ok? Thanks so much again for letting me stay here. Have a wonderful day.“ I didn’t even let them answer, turned around, grabbed my shoes and closed the door behind me with a bang.

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