Mein Hirn lässt mich nach wie vor weder auf Deutsch schreiben noch editieren. Aber es auf Englisch zu veröffentlichen macht auch gleichzeitig Sinn, daher sorry, wenn das im Moment nicht alle lesen können, aber das ist im Moment alles, was ich zustande bekomme (trotz einiger fast fertiger Kapitel). Wenn ich eines Tages mal wieder Zeit habe, steht das Kapitel auf der To-Do zum Übersetzen.

(Ja, ich weiß, es ist weird, aber ich mag weird!)

CN: Diskussionen ums Ausnutzen einer Machtposition

Spoiler: Samsas Traum (mittel)

Amigo del Alma (mittel)

»Are you out of your mind?! What were you thinking, fucking this boy?«

»That he’s cute and I like to fuck him. What’s the problem?«

»You should not have fucked him!«

»Why? He wanted to fuck too. Are you jealous? I didn’t know you like petite younger guys. I thought ...«

»I am not jealous!«

»Then why are you bursting into my room to yell at me first thing in the morning? I didn’t do anything wrong.«

»Yeah, of course. You never did anything wrong.«

»That’s not what I said! I did nothing wrong this time. He’s an adult, he’s perfectly capable of saying ›no‹. I don’t see were I did something wrong.«

»Was he?«

»Why wouldn’t he?«

»Because he’s working for us! And because he literally disappeared in the middle of the night, leaving you a fucking note! He can loose his job for refusing you!«

»Fucking with me is not his job!«

»I know. And he knows. But making you upset could have cost him his job anyway. Just stop fucking people that are dependant on you!«

»... It’s not about the boy from yesterday, is it? When will you stop? It’s been years!«

»When you start taking responsibility!«

»I have apologized, several times! I tried to make it right. He will not talk to me. So I don’t know what more you want from me.«

»It’s not about apologizing. It’s about stopping this shit! Stop fucking people that are dependent on you. And for fuck’s sake, stop trying to contact him!«

»But I lo...«

»And stop that bullshit too! You did not love him! You loved an image of him you created in your head! And when you realized he wasn’t who you wanted him to be, you tried to make him this person by force! But that person wasn’t enough either, was it? When he came too close to what you envisioned him to be, you realized that you wanted him because he was He in the first place. You tried to clue back the broken pieces into something that resembled him, but it was still the him you had in your head and they would not stick. That’s what you feel guilty about, isn’t it?! That you broke your toy. That he couldn’t take the abuse and guilt tripping from you anymore and told me. That I made him leave. That he escaped your control completely and is finally lashing out.«

»Shut up! You are dead! I don’t have to listen to you anymore!«

»You know I’m right. I’m just in your head.«

»Shut up!«