My dearest friend,
Just another letter,
It was never meant
To get any better.
You still know the things
I once told you right here?
They tie me to you like the strings
Of a puppeteer.
Yes, that’s right,
I’m feeling like a doll,
With no heart inside
And no tears at all.
All I still own
Is my beloved mind,
But one day it’ll be blown
And all will go blind.
I’m up the hill,
Everything’s so small.
Earth seems to stand still,
Another moment that frames it all.
The pain, the fights, the frozen faces,
The hate, the cold, the forgotten places.
There’s nothing to see
And nothing to know.
Just the will to flee,
And that one way to go.
Do you remember the summer before?
No gray and no thoughts of sin.
Then I opened this never shutting door,
Changed everything I’ve ever been.
Saw all and nothing,
Was all alone.
A colorless world’s king,
The true self barely shown.
I tried to tell,
By never making a tone.
Not worth leaving hell,
The inner emaciated to the bone.
All I needed was a person to trust,
To understand the feeling.
But hope died in dust,
Now it’s hanging from the ceiling.
And there I’m today,
With the one thing I always missed.
My last words to say:
My dearest friend,
I wish you would exist.