i hate that so much poems are about you

i hate that i waste my time writing about you

confessing it all with 26 letters

i hate the fact that you will never read these words of mine

that you will never read the sorrow and pain between the lines

that you will never read the disgust and hate between the lines

and i hate myself for hating you for being happy with her

when i am here all by myself

all the negativity is crawling out of me and i want to puke and spit it out

and leave it on the floor forever but it decided to stay for longer and i put

fingers in my throat and tried to enforce it to come out and let me live

but it is a bastard

a stubborn bastard

alive to kill me

or rather to kill the feelings ive left for other people

i should stay strong in these times

especially in these times

but the thought of you keeps me awake at night

and keeps me fantasizing about what we could have been but are not

you keep me laying in the bed with eyes half open

not dreaming at all

and if i do i do not dream about you

but you are the thought that makes me want to get back into my bed

i am indeed thankful for whatever power is up there that it did not enable me

to dream of you

otherwise id become crazier from time to time


Fairy Dust



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