Dean in Purgatory: "Where's the angel?"
Monster: "You're him, the human..."
Dean: "Where's the angel?!"
Every single angel knows how much Dean means to Castiel. Now every single monster in purgatory knows how much Cas means to Dean.
"First, we find the angel." Dean to Benny
Dean stays in Purgatory to search for Cas for a whole year, although he could leave at any time.
Dean: "Cas!"
Cas: "Dean." [stands up as Dean walks closer]
Dean: "Cas..." [laughs and hugs Cas] "Damn, it's good to see you. Nice peach fuzz." [touches Cas' cheek]
Cas: "Thank you."
Dean: "You should meet somebody. This is Benny. Benny, this is Cas."
Cas: "How did you find me?"
Dean: "The bloody way. You feeling okay?"
Cas: "You mean am I still..." [He points to his head and makes circles with his finger.]
Dean: "Yeah, if you want to be on the nose about it, sure."
Cas: "No. I'm perfectly sane. But then, 94% of psychotics think they're perfectly sane, so I guess we'd have to ask ourselves, what is sane?"
Dean: "That's a good question."
Benny: "Why'd you bail on Dean?"
Dean: "Dude –"
Benny: "The way I hear it, you two hit monster land, and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some backstory."
Dean: "Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas. Obviously, he kicked its ass, right?"
Cas: "No. I ran away."
Dean: "You ran away?"
Cas: "I had to."
Dean: "That's your excuse for leaving me?"
Cas: "Dean –"
Dean: "You bailed out and, what, went camping? I prayed to you, Cas! Every night!" [a whole year]
Cas: "I know."
Cas isn't looking Dean in the eye. It's because he can't. Try listening to the man you rebelled for, fell for, died many times over for, call out to you every single night. Try listening for his cries for help and pleas to know if you're even alive or if he's truly all alone. Try using every last ounce of self control you have, not to return to his side and tell him that you never left him, that you were there protecting him all along. Try risking him hating you just so he'll leave you behind and have an actual shot at getting out. Try doing all of that, and then tell me if you'd be able to look him in the eye when you tell him I know.
Dean: "You know and you didn't... What the hell's wrong with you?"
Cas: "I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived."
Dean: "Join the club!"
Cas: "These are not just monsters, Dean. They're Leviathan. I have a price on my head, and I've been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to – to keep them away from you. That's why I ran. Just leave me, please."
Benny: "Sounds like a plan. Let's roll."
Dean: "Hold on, hold on. Cas, we're getting out of here. We're going home."
Cas: "Dean, I can't."
Dean: "You can. Benny, tell him."
Benny: "Purgatory has an escape hatch, but I got no idea if it's angel-friendly."
Dean: "We'll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you."
Cas: "Dean..."
Dean: "And if Leviathan want to take a shot at us, let 'em. We ganked those bitches once before. We can do it again."
Cas: "It's too dangerous."
Dean: "Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you. Understand?"
Cas: "I understand." 8.02
Cas: "Dean. The risk of crossing Purgatory with a seraph - it's... less than strategic, and certainly when we have no reason to believe that I can pass through the door that you're headed for."
Benny: "You see, you're an intact, living human being stuck in Purgatory's craw. This dimension wants to spit you out, which is exactly what's gonna power our escape pod. Now, I'm pretty sure I can squeeze through, too, because, after all, you take away the fangs and the fun, I was born human, too. But..."
Cas: "I don't think it would work for me."
Benny: "You hear what he's telling you, Dean? Your buddy is saying –"
Dean: "Listen to me, you undead blood junkie, I'm the one with the mojo. I'm the one with the plan. Cas! We're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us." 8.05
Benny: "What does it matter what you believe? You got your head so far up your ass, Dean, you don't even realize we're already done for. The angel knows it. We are never gonna make it with him next to us glowing like a beacon."
Dean: "Do I need to remind you of our deal? Of what you committed to?"
Benny: "He is gonna get us killed."
Cas: "We may get to test that theory."
Dean: "More monsters?"
Cas: "Leviathan."
Dean: "Why don't you blip out of here?"
Cas: "They're too close. I can't. Run!" 8.05
Benny: "Why did you do it, Dean?"
Dean: "Do what?"
Benny: "Resurrect me?"
Because you once protected the thing I love. The thing, the one thing, that made Dean trust Benny, is that he saved Cas when he could have just let him die, and logically should have let him die, because Cas was beside them glowing like a beacon bringing the Leviathan down on them all. But Benny knew... he knew how much Cas meant to Dean.
May I also point out the difference in how Dean is with Benny than he is with Cas. With Benny, he acts exactly as a friend would be expected to act, even when Benny is in danger. But with Cas, he's more tender (not in the lovey dovey type easy but in a way, but more like lover than a buddy). Benny was the best friend, Cas is the partner.
Cas: "Dean, it's a human portal. There's still no proof that an angel can pass –"
Dean: "Stow it, Cas. You're coming. That's final."
Cas: "I'm just saying..." [He puts a hand on Dean's shoulder. Dean stops and looks at him.] "...if it doesn't work... thank you for everything."
Dean: "Save the Hallmark. Okay? It's gonna work. Nobody gets left behind." 8.07
"Cas! Damn it! Come on! Come on! I got you! Hold on! Hold on!" Dean to Cas in the portal 8.07
Possibility 1: Cas didn't let go of Dean's hand in Purgatory until the very last second, because he knows that if he had let go any sooner, Dean would've stayed with him.
Possibility 2: When Cas pushed Dean's hand away in the portal to make sure Dean got through, he really didn't have to hold Dean's hand. Dean was already in the portal. If Cas had just walked away from it Dean would've still gone through, he wouldn't have been able to get out of the portal anyway. Cas held Dean's hand because since he was planning to stay in Purgatory forever it would be his last chance to hold Dean's hand.
video Every Destiel scene in season 8 (part 1/11):
Sam: "You were in Purgatory? For the whole year?"
Dean: "Yeah, time flies when you're running for your life." (...)
Sam: "What about Cas? Was he there?"
Dean [walks a few steps away and speaks with his back to Sam]: "Yeah, Cas didn't make it."
Sam: "What exactly does that mean?"
Dean: "Something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hairy towards the end, and he... just let go."
Sam: "So Cas is dead? You saw him die?"
Dean: "I saw enough."
Sam: "So, then what, you're not sure?"
Dean [turning back to Sam]: "I said I saw enough, Sam."
Sam: "Right. Dean, I'm sorry."
Dean: "Me too." 8.01
Sam: "Dean? What's going on? Are you all right?" [throws back the covers and sits on the edge of the bed]
Dean: "I don't know. I just saw something."
Sam: "Uh, you saw what?" [stands up and walks over to Dean]
Dean: "Cas."
Sam: "Cas? Where?"
Dean: "Right there. And – and – and earlier, on the road. I feel like I'm seeing him."
Sam: "That's... not possible. I mean, you said it yourself. You made it out and he didn't, right?"
Dean: "I tried so damn hard to get us the hell out of there." [turns away from the window and walks a few steps away]
Sam: "I know you did."
Dean [with his back to Sam]: "You know, I could have pulled him out. I just don't understand why he didn't try harder."
Sam: "Dean." [walks over to Dean, who turns to face him] "You did everything you could."
Dean: "Yeah, but why do I feel like crap?" 8.07
Remember that time when Sam kept seeing Jess everywhere after she'd died. Now Dean keeps seeing Cas everywhere after he lost him in Purgatory.
Dean: "I got to be honest. I-I-I'm thinking, how the hell did you make it out? I mean, I – I was there. I-I-I know that place. I know how we had to scratch and claw and kill and bleed to find that portal and make it through it, and it almost finished me. So, uh... so how exactly are you sitting here with us right now?"
Cas: "Dean, everything you just said is completely true. And that's the strange part. I... have no idea. I remember endlessly running and hiding from Leviathan, and then I was on the side of the road in Illinois. And... that was it."
Dean: "And that – that was it?"
Cas: "Yes." [long pause] "Oh. I'm dirty."
Dean: "Yeah, well, Purgatory will do that to you." 8.07
Remember how Cas said in 10.10 that he doesn't need to be prayed to directly to hear someone "longing" for him? Remember how Cas said to Dean "I always come when you call" in 6.21? Remember how Cas has appeared in every possible and impossible moment, especially those that left Dean seemingly embarrassed, over the years?
Dean has freaking angel warding carved in his ribs since 5.01, which means he can't be found by angel radar. So based on these information, how could Cas locate Dean after he got out of Purgatory? By sensing Dean's longing. Dean's longing was so powerful that a weakened Castiel was able to pinpoint his exact location on the whole wide planet earth.
video Every Destiel scene in season 8 (part 2/11):
Dean: "Cas, can I talk to you outside?"
Cas: "What?"
Dean: "Exactly. What? What the hell happened? Back there. Purgatory. I told you I would get you out. We were there! It was like you just gave up. It's like you didn't believe we could do it. I mean, you kept saying that you didn't think it would work. Did you not trust me?"
'Cas: "Dean..."
Dean: "I did everything I could to get you out! Everything! I did not leave you."
Cas: "So you think this was your fault." 8x07
Dean: "You could have gotten yourself killed. Why didn't you wait for me?"
Cas: "Well, I didn't get killed. And it worked."
Dean: "And if it didn't?"
Cas: "It would've been my problem."
Dean: "Well, that's not the way I see it."
Cas: "Hey, everything isn't your responsibility. Getting me out of Purgatory wasn't your responsibility."
Dean: "You didn't get out. So whose fault was it?"
Cas: "It's not about fault. It's about will. Dean, do you really not remember?"
Dean: "I lived it, Cas. Okay, I know what happened."
Cas: "No. No, you think you know. You remembered it the way you needed to."
Dean: "Look, I don't need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I've failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don't need it!"
Cas: "Dean. Just look at it. Really look at it. (...) See, it wasn't that I was weak. I was stronger than you. I pulled away. Nothing you could have done would have saved me, because I didn't want to be saved."
Dean: "What the hell are you talking about?"
Cas: "It's where I belonged. I needed to do penance. After the things I did on earth and in heaven, I didn't deserve to be out. And I saw that clearly when I was there. I... I planned to stay all along. I just didn't know how to tell you. You can't save everyone, my friend... though, you try." 8x07
Dean couldn't deal with the thought of Cas letting go, so this is what he imagined instead. Because he'd rather live with the guilt of having been too weak and left behind a heartbroken angel than even go near the idea that Cas didn't want him.
video Every Destiel scene in season 8 (part 3/11):
Pinterest folder to season 8 (Purgatory):
https://www.pinterest.de/april31415/destiel-canon/purgatory-s8/
