Jonathan was sitting on a bank in front of the Outpost, as the locals called the old light house at the shore. He was watching Noemi as the 5 year old played in the sand.
Her soft happy giggles drifted over to him with the breeze and he smiled even though his heart was heavy.
Isabella had left him and Noemi a note telling them about the doctors appointment. He wanted to go with her so badly but his wife wanted to go alone.
It wasn't kind or fair for and to her to face this kind of situation alone. He wanted to be by her side but he knew Isabella wanted him to stay with their little one.
He knew why she didn't want him by her side.
She thought she was a failure because there was a chance the doctors would tell her she shouldn't or couldn't carry a child to term in her current state.
Jonathan would never fault her for putting her own health first but he also knew how badly she wanted a second child.
Only the accident last fall had put her wish for a child on a back-burner. The broken ribs, back, and pelvis had put a damper on their sex life and life in general. It had taken months for Isabella to be back on her own two feet and there were still days where she had to walk with a cane or her pair of crutches.
The damp fall weather hurt her and Jonathan knew it.
He wasn't sure how he could help her in this situation.
He wanted a second child. There was no denying it. He had loved growing up having a big brother and sister. He didn't want Noemi to grow up as an only child. But he didn't want to risk the health of his wife, the love of his life.
Jonathan hadnt even realised he was crying.
Noemi crawling into his lap and holding him close while patting his cheek made him realise.
»Why you sad?«, the little one asked.
Jonathan sniffled and wiped the tears away with his sleeve.
»Adult things, little one. Nothing to concern yourself about. It will be taken care of …«, he said. The ›one way or another‹ was implied, but Noemi was to young to understand.
Noemi nodded.
»I don't wike it … sun is shining … reason to smile«, she told him.
Jonathan couldn't help himself. His daughters small lisp made him smile and the heavy thoughts were forgotten for the moment. When she pulled on his hand he followed her down to the beach to build a sand castle. Maybe Noemi was right. He had reasons to smile right now. And maybe he would have another later when they were back home.